


overpass

by qjuiq



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Stubborn Steve Rogers, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qjuiq/pseuds/qjuiq
Summary: Steve thinks Bruce's research partner hates him. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader, Peter Parker & Reader, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader, Tony Stark & Reader
Comments: 41
Kudos: 104





	1. all I want is you

"Bruce, do we have any high lighters left?" You ask, rummaging through the drawers of your table. "There should be some by the front," he nudges his head towards the glass door. You walk over and dig through the drawers of the desk, happily finding the neon marker.

"You know how much I love coloring data and filling in my graphs, boy oh boy," you sing sarcastically. If you and Bruce hadn't known each other for so long, he would have bitten at your comment but he knew your talking out loud was to help subdue your boredom. You walk back to your pile of data, putting in your earbuds as you begin marking like it was a coloring book. 

You have worked for Stark Industries for several years now, researching the human genome and DNA manipulation with Bruce Banner. You were never interested in becoming a superhero, but you knew your work was going to amount to creating the next Avenger.

"Let me toss you some pink and green ones since you love it so much," Bruce tosses some other colored high lighters at you, catching you off guard. "Hey! Don't make me tell Tony you've been slacking," You laugh, not bothering to take out your buds. You turn up the Christina Aguilera playlist as you continue coloring, unaware of the guest entering the lab.

Steve was there to give Bruce some blood work along with dropping off files for Tony. He barely glanced at your back as he walked to sit next to Bruce. He placed the paperwork on the table, rolling up his sleeve.

"How's it going, Dr. Banner?" Steve smiles at his friend. Bruce shrugs, opening a syringe with heparin lining the vile. "It's going quite, Steve. We're on the verge of a breakthrough, aren't we?" Bruce looked over at you to include you in the conversation, but _Come On Over_ could be heard faintly from your earbuds. You look over your shoulder and notice who's in your lab. "Yes, we are close," You mumble, not allowing your eyes to linger on Steve. He hides his eye roll from Bruce, the brunette unaware of Steve's distaste towards you.

Your obvious indifference to Steve was nothing new to him. Bruce never took significant note of it and neither did of the other Avengers, but Steve sure did. He was not used to someone treating him like he was not there or someone completely disregarding him when he was present; it made him feel like the little kid in Brooklyn again. It wasn't exactly a blow to his ego, but Steve thought even a polite hello was standard greeting to strangers.

Ever since you and he met, you've only openly ignored the captain's presence. Steve never thought it was right to judge people off a bad first impression, but he eventually stopped caring as to why you didn't like him. Steve did not know he was greatly mistaken. From across the room, your heartbeat a million miles a minute; you're hoping that no one could read your mind as you thought of Steve while the words _come over here baby, all I want is you_ blasted through your earbuds.

Your stomach did summersaults and every gymnastic trick under the sun whenever you were in close proximity to the super soldier. You had your own story and reasons to not interact with Steve, no matter how much you had a crush on him. As miserable as it feels, to be in such close quarters weekly, almost daily, with someone you admired so deeply and genuinely wanted to get to know them - you just couldn't muster a word toward the captain. You'd choke whenever you thought about it, and your face would flare like a tomato at even being within six feet of the Brooklyn babe.

Steve didn't realize he was your kryptonite. And you hope he never did.

"Thanks for having me, Bruce. You as well, miss," Steve parted from your lab, your heart soaring from him saying goodbye to you. You turn around once you hear the door shut, giving Bruce a guilty glance. He raises a knowing eyebrow at you but doesn't comment. Your face is obviously flush as you dash from the lab, looking for the nearest water fountain.

You hated this.


	2. close

"Aha! Finally done for the day," you hoot, slamming your markers down and closing the folder in front of you. "We are very close to striking gold, Brucey," you stand up from your seat, stretching and twisting to work out the kinks of the day.

"Definitely, we just have a few more puzzle pieces to put together," He also stands, leaning over his desk to sort some papers. Bruce had a question on the tip of his tongue but he decided against asking.

Steve's demeanor around you was always a bit more solemn than his usual attitude. And you were so transparent, with your minimal chatter and the tips of your ears redder than strawberries, Bruce had some puzzle pieces he put together in his mind as well.

"If we can do this within the next month, I genuinely believe I deserve a reward you grin at the brunette, earning an eye roll. "Lunch isn't really a reward when you eat out on a regular basis," Bruce laughs as he packs his backpack.

"It is when I know you're sweet enough to buy me Olive Garden!" You dig through your backpack and throw a crumpled paper ball at him. Did it matter that it was probably a report from just last week that you threw at him? Nah, not really. "I'll see you tomorrow Bruce," you wave goodbye to your friend, making your way out of the lab. You take the elevator up a few floors, having your own documents to drop off for Tony.

"Tony with the toes, what's happening?" You stroll into his office, swinging your legs over the armrest of the chair in front of his desk.

"That is probably one of the strangest ways you've greeted me by far, but I don't mind it," He looks up from his computer at you, taking off his glasses."Whatcha got from me, kiddo?" You hand him your file, deciding to dig through your bag as you do. You pull out some gum and wrap your headphones around your neck. "Brucey and I are close to cracking the doosey, ya feel?" You knew your manner of speaking annoyed the heck out of Tony, which made it even more fun doing so.

"I feel, I feel," You can see his lips curl sourly as he tries to banter back. "Anywho, got any plans this weekend? Pepper and I are throwing a team movie night on Friday if you're interested." Tony attempts. You bring your arms up, crossing your hands over each other to form an X. "Sorry, I have plans already that night," You shake your head. Your definition of busy was night and day compared to Tony's, but busy nonetheless. "Oh yeah? Is your Animal Crossing town and Netflix series all dying to be tended to?" Tony scoffs, earning an amused chuckle.

"Not quite, Tony the Tiger, more of a date with my newly stocked bookshelf and refreshed Hulu queue; quite the difference, if you ask me," You try not to let the smartass seep through your lips. "One day I'll get you to do something fun, or else I'll take those rolling eyes outside of your head," Tony tsks, waving you off. You shrug, standing up and plugging in an earbud.

Tony really liked you, you were one of the few women he would hang around that understood the working mechanics of his mind and Bruce's other than Pepper. He just didn't understand why you were so inside yourself and not wanting to hang out with his team; you had a fun personality to get to know, you were much better at your job than previous research partners, and Tony was no fool - he caught the little shield on your keys one day when he walked into the lab. He almost thought it would be more incentive for you to be around the team if his assumptions were correct.

"And there's no way I can get you to come? What if I said that Steve wants you to be there?" He drawls, testing the theory. You were almost out the door when the name stopped you dead in your tracks, all of the blood in your body rushing to your head.

"You're a real jokester, Tony." You could feel your throat tightening as you croak over your shoulder. Your stuttered reaction was all it took to confirm Tony's suspicions. Oh, he was going to store this in the bank. Tony shook with silent laughter, your already red face making it harder to hold it in.

"You think I'm kidding, but what if he did?" Tony winks at you, trying his darndest not to smirk. "Still a hard pass, but thank you." You leave his office, absolutely flustered. As if Steve would ever ask for you. You purposely kept your interactions and contacts to a minimum with the blonde; had you been too obvious in how you felt without catching it? 

You pop in your other earbud and press the down button for the elevator. You were more than ready to walk home and call it a day. You might even stop by the convenience store and grab dinner; you were no longer in the mood to cook after Tony's jesting. The elevator door opened, your eyes widening just a fraction as you saw who was inside. 

You step onto the platform, leaning against the opposite wall from Steve. Not even a hello, more of a terse nod is what he receives from you. Acknowledgment, but not a legitimate greeting.

"What floor?" You hear quite faintly, his voice muffled by your music. "The first level, thank you," you side-eye the keypad but don't make eye contact with him. Steve did not bother pressing the button, already heading to the same area. You had never been in such close quarters with Steve before, the thought of him being within six feet of you already made your heart race. Steve merely stared ahead, his jaw ticking. That's probably the most you've ever said to him, nowhere near close to making progress but it was better than nothing, he supposed. "Do you have a long trip home?" He asks, trying even though he doesn't think you'll respond. You hear him again and take out your music, clearing your throat. 

"I actually don't mind the ride from here to Brooklyn," You shrug, not really thinking about what you were saying. "It took getting used to, but it gives me time to think my day through before getting here." You begin, not realizing Steve is staring at you. You lose yourself for a second too long, almost feeling like you were talking to Bruce. "Sometimes I'll read a good book on the way if I haven't found a good show to watch or new music to listen to but there's this mystery movie I want to finish on my way home today that's getting absolutely nuts-"

You realize you started rambling, eyes wide as you looked at Steve. His lips parted slightly, astonished that you just kept... talking. What caught you off guard this time when Steve spoke to you? Were you actually _naturally_ bubbly in the way you talked? This question intrigued and irked him at the same time, not knowing why he was so different in the way you usually treated him, but he was disheartened that you cut yourself off. 

You could see his gaze soften just the slightest - pity, you assume too quickly - making your eyes narrow. Your steely facade is back in an instant, throwing another curveball at the soldier. "Sorry, you're probably not interested in my blabbering," You look away, relieved the elevator stopped on your floor. "I would understand," Your voice thickens as the doors open. You're confused as to why you spoke so much to him, instantly embarrassed at the interaction. Steve reaches out to you as you rush off the elevator, his fingertips barely grazing your backpack. 

Steve calls your name and you walk even faster. You're out of the revolving doors faster than Steve can weave through the crowd of people in the lobby. You round the building and hide in the alley tucked between the neighboring skyscraper. Your head throbbed, your migraine starting to take in effect. You hated that being around the super-soldier made you lose your cool. You pulled some medicine out of your back and swallowed it with water.

You weren't going to allow yourself to like him, you just couldn't handle the idea of being with someone so marvelous. It was enough for you already to have friends like Tony and Bruce, that's all you needed in life right now; you didn't need Steve Rogers to come in and ruin that. You turn up your music and pull your baseball cap out of your backpack, wanting to hide from him if he happened to run around the corner. 

Steve finally makes it out of the revolving doors, looking both ways to see if he can spot you. "Dammit..." He curses to himself. He doesn't see you anywhere, luckily missing you as you cross the street a block over. If he would have just interrupted you when he saw the gears turning in your mind, would you have kept talking to him? Today was a step in the right direction, Steve thought while running his hand through his hair. He was determined to get you to talk to him again.


	3. talk to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to nudge you in the right direction.

Your weekend passed uneventfully, and you appreciated that it was also without interruption. Usually, you would get a text from Tony inviting you out (which one-hundred percent of the time you politely turned him down) or a question from Bruce about data you've collected, but your inbox was quite dry come Monday morning.   
  
You're wearing an oversized NYU hoodie, black leggings, and clog style Crocs to work today. Monday was your designated bum day of the week, considering you weren't working in the lab. You and Bruce had your own offices tucked into the corners of the lab, separate from all your testing and experiments. You loved paperwork days because you could work for hours on end without disruption from visitors to the lab.   
  
You arrive at the tower and make your way through the lobby, showing the security guard your work badge and allowing him to search your backpack. He nods for you to enter, waving in the next patron in line. You walk towards the elevator and notice the broad backside of a familiar blonde, who to your luck was engaged in conversation with an agent you knew of. You walk past the pair, the stairs looking incredibly attractive at the moment. Steve feels an odd tug in his stomach as the crowd passes behind him. His intuition has him turn and see the back of your head entering the staircase, the sight of you taking his attention away from the conversation.  
  
"Steve?" Sharon follows his gaze, interested as to whom he was looking for. "Yes, I agree, trying those new moves you found would be a great addition to the training, Sharon." Steve turns back to her without missing a beat, looking over the folder she held out to him. He did not want to be caught staring after you, especially not by her. He doesn't want to give anyone reason to think he's noticed you. The pair stepped onto the elevator, riding to the same floor.   
  
"I was also thinking, there's a new restaurant that opened up down the street, I heard their Kobe beef is imported straight from Japan that morning," Sharon is glad they are the only two on the elevator, now there are no listening ears for her invitation. Steve smiles politely, giving Sharon a knowing look. "It does sound quite good, I agree." Steve comments, looking away from her and straight ahead. Sharon holds in her pout, not wanting to take the subtle no for an answer. "Look, Steve-" Sharon begins before the elevator door opens, a few patrons stepping in. "I'd love to try the new program that Fury had tried to start, it seemed to go well with the recruits before we could actually put it into practice in the field, don't you agree?" She asks, side-eyeing him behind the group of people. Steve sighed so quietly his chest barely moved.   
  
"I think it was a good start at the time it happened, but I don't think it really applies to today's direction of where SHIELD wants to go, wouldn't you think so?" Steve answers, the elevator arriving at their floor. He excuses himself through the small crowd, everyone turning around to look at Sharon. Mortification flushed throughout her face, her head hung a little low as she darted between the people. She wishes she knew where she went wrong, or why Steve wasn't willing to give them another chance. Sharon exhales, knowing she will never compare to her great aunt in Steve's heart, but she knew she had a lot to offer the patriot. Sharon was a woman with dreams of having a family, becoming someone that ran SHIELD alongside Director Fury, and someday she wanted Captain America to be the man at her side through it all.   
  
Steve makes it to his office, settling down for a moment before booting his computer. He hated having to learn how to work the damn thing, but it was a new age; begone the days' people had to handwrite their reports and transport their typewriters. The monitor turned on, his inbox already popping with notifications of new emails. He groans, opening each new tab. One email, in particular, catches his eye amongst the other ones. Tony is inviting him to lunch in the cafeteria today.   
  
\-----  
  
You're a few hours into putting more reports together, the time flying by with your favorite tv show playing in the background. Your office door is open, though you don't notice Tony sneaking into the lab as he heads straight to Bruce's work station. "Banner baby, how's my Ph-Daddy doing?" Tony sits on his table, purposely on top of paperwork. Bruce groans, not because of this morning's collections being covered in Stank ass, but because he hears that tone in Tony's voice.  
  
"Whatever you're up to Tony, leave me out of it," Bruce doesn't bother looking away from his tablet. Tony scoffs, "Oh c'mon Banner, you don't even want a hint of what I got for our lovely research partner?" Tony nods his head towards your office, the mentioned still unaware of his entrance into the lab. This catches Bruce's attention, concern wrinkling his forehead.   
  
"Depends, is it going to affect her work?" Bruce crosses his arms, leaning back on his seat. Tony looks up to the right, doing a poor job of not giving himself away. "You're up to something not good that's only for your amusement, aren't you?" Bruce shakes his head disappointedly. "No, no, this is very much in favor of our lovely brooder, I assure you," Tony puffs his chest out, waving his finger. "I am simply helping her puppy love blossom," Tony exaggerates by rolling his hands out from his chest. A brief terror flashed through Bruce's features, and he hated that he knew where Tony was getting at.  
  
Bruce was well aware of how much your demeanor changed when a certain soldier walked into the lab, but he never paid much mind to it until now. He thought your flush demeanor was always out of frustration, but it also could have been out of nerves, now that he thinks about it a second moe. "Ugh, Tony, I would not get involved in her personal life, who cares if she likes Steve-" "She has no personal life, Bruce, that's what I'm here for," Tony pats his shoulder as he stands up. "What are you doing?" Bruce grunts through clenched teeth, urging Tony to back off his crazy idea. "I'm inviting her to lunch, I got this," Tony mouths confidently, winking, walking backward to your office.   
  
A knock on your door draws you from your thoughts. You position your glasses to sit atop your head, looking at Tony. "What's up, Bennett?" You move your papers aside and close your laptop. "Wrong Tony, but close. I could sing for you if you'd like," He leans against the doorframe. "Let's go grab a bite to eat, you look like you're about to pass out," Tony's hand motions to your appearance. "I'm just not wearing makeup, funny pants. If I was, I wouldn't look like this," You stand up from your desk, deciding not to refuse free lunch. You knew Mondays were the best menus, anyways, so this was a pleasant surprise on your end.   
  
"Also, these bags under my eyes are Gucci, just so you're aware for any future jokes," You nudge him as you walk out of your office. "I'll be back whenever Tony feels like it, Bruce," You give a mock salute to the other brunette as you leave in front of Tony. Bruce makes a cutting motion on his neck at Tony as you both leave the lab. "I got this, don't worry," Tony waves him off, closing the glass door behind him. Bruce exhales heavily, resting his head on his giant steel table. You did not talk much about your personal life, your feelings towards people other than Bruce and Tony just as an enigma.   
  
Bruce knew in his gut, whatever Tony was up to, he was about to fuck up really, _really_ bad.   
  
\-----  
  
"You're expensive, I almost feel bad for the next man that takes you out to eat," Tony comments as you go full-course with your lunch tray. "You assume I don't pay for my own food, Mr. T, how chivalrous of you," You have the woman at the register count your food. "We're together," You point to Tony, earning an unamused glance. He pays for your food, your stomach starting to growl at the aromas under your nose. You picked a fanciful feast with baked eggplant parmesan, tomato soup, bottled water and strawberry cheesecake for dessert.   
  
"Good thing I took some supplements, or else this will leave as fast as it came," You smirk at Tony. "Do you know what TMI stands for? I recommend looking it up," Tony finds a table for the two of you. It seats four, you liked these tables better even when you were eating by yourself. You pull out your phone like the smart ass you are, smirking as you type. "TMI: too much information, according to urban dictionary-" "All right, smartypants," Tony frowns, stabbing his fork into your cheesecake. "Hey!" You laugh, pushing his hand away.   
  
You weren't aware of the pair of eyes watching you and Tony at your table. He watched the two of you joking around, and he had to admit that when you were around your friends you had a beautiful smile. Steve snapped himself out of his staring, deciding to walk over. He had brought his lunch today, but he responded cheerfully to Tony's email, eager to catch up with his friend. What Tony did not mention was that you were going to be having lunch with them. Steve ignored the confusion pulling at his mind as he walked over to the two of you.   
  
"Steve!" Tony holds his arms open, making you choke on your water. You go into a coughing fit, hunched over your chair as Steve rushes over to pat you on the back. Tony snorts, trying to hold in a laugh.  
  
"God, are you okay?" Steve asks, too close for your liking. You can't even focus on the fact you almost had water down your lungs, but that his large hand was searing your skin through your lab coat. "I'm just fine," you rasp, politely waving him off. Steve takes the seat to your right and Tony's left.   
  
"Maybe you should slow down when you eat," Tony snickers at you, earning a tearful glare. You wipe your eyes, laughing darkly as you think of a comeback. You realize Steve is sitting next to you, but when it came to bantering with Tony, gloves were off no matter the audience. "Maybe I just needed a strong enough excuse to get you to shut up, not everyone loves hearing you talk as much as you do, Tony," you smirk at him. Steve laughs quietly, not realizing how familiar you were with Tony until now.   
  
"Be careful, I could have you furloughed," Tony points his fork at you. You tsk at him. "You'd be doing me a favor, having me stay home only to get paid, whatever would I do?" You take a bite of your dish. Steve grinned to himself as he opened his lunch, not realizing how much personality you had when around the right people. He wondered to himself how he could get you to be as comfortable with him as you are with Tony.   
  
The Stark notices how your ears are flushed as you eat, he's assuming you're nervous that your star-spangled crush is sitting next to you. Tony has another mischievous grin on his face as he opens his mouth, "Is this your first time sitting together?" He motions between you and Steve. You grit your teeth and don't bother looking up from your dish.   
  
"It is actually, isn't it, (Y/N)?" Steve swallows his food. You nod at him, mustering the courage to look him in the eyes. "We work in different departments, it makes sense that we haven't gotten to know each other," Tony catches the strain in your voice. Steve nods in agreement. "That's fair, but aren't you in the lab all the time anyways cause of their current research? How come you haven't talked before?" Tony asks. "Bruce is who's the lead for the project," you narrow your eyes at Tony. "I've been very busy with my own work," you mutter, going back to eating your food.   
  
Steve notices your closed demeanor and giving a pointed look to Tony. Tony winks at him, the next words flying out of his mouth calculated. "Well, I know Steve here has wanted to talk to you about hanging out with the team sometime-" Your grip tightens, snapping the plastic fork in your hand in half. Steve's face widens in surprise, you drop the broken plastic ware onto your tray. You stand up, doing your best not to slam your chair into the table. Your cheeks are burning, embarrassment evident in the way your lips are curled downward. "I appreciate the thought gentlemen, but as I've told you before Tony, I'm not interested," you shoot Steve an apologetic look. "I'm finished with my lunch, excuse me," you seal your containers and take your tray, weaving through people to hide under in your office as fast as possible.   
  
As you leave the cafeteria, Steve shot Tony a disappointed grimace, shaking his head as he ate. "What! She never wants to hang out with us," Tony exclaims. "She's not an Avenger, she's a research scientist for Stark Industries and SHIELD. I don't understand why you purposely made her uncomfortable," Steve wipe his mouth a napkin. "I'm trying to push my friend out of her comfort zone, if you couldn't tell," Tony scoffs at Steve.   
  
"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" He challenges the brunette.   
  
"C'mon Rogers, you're not the least bit interested in what goes on in (Y/N)'s life?" Tony raises a brow at him. Steve swallows, not wanting to admit the thoughts he's been having about her for the past week. Tony can read the answer in Steve's face but plays it off.   
  
"That's none of my business." Steve gets up from the table, gathering his trash. "But she is most definitely owed an apology, and I don't care if it's from you but I'm going to say sorry," Steve walks away from the table, heading to your lab. He didn't understand why Tony said these things to intentionally get under your skin, there was a thin line between playful banter and just being annoying.   
  
Tony shrugs as Steve leaves the cafeteria. He pulls out his phone and before even shooting Bruce a text he sees a message from the said scientist.   
  
_Tony. What the hell did you do? She's finishing her lunch under her desk._ Oh, yes. She is _definitely_ upset.   
  
_My plan is semi-working, just be patient young Padawan_ Tony texts back.   
  
He knew he owed you an apology, but Tony felt he pushed you in the right direction today, even if it was terribly backward; you talked to Steve and now Steve was going to go talk to you. _Iron Man, the Matchmaker_ , he laughs to himself. 


	4. come my way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve checks on the Reader.

A few hours have passed since the horrific encounter at lunch, courtesy of Tony. Nerves ran rampant the rest of the afternoon, leading you to put the rest of your food in your office minifridge. You did not feel you could stomach anything more. All calls and text messages from Tony were silenced on your cellphone as you kept the small device in your backpack. You weren’t talking to him for the rest of the day, that was a fact. 

You had lost yourself in your paperwork when you remember to look up at the clock on the wall. It was an hour past your usual work shift. Stretching, you lean back in your chair and kick out your legs. From all the tension and pent up nerves experienced within the last week, what you would give for a massage right now. The tension could have been solved easily if you were someone that did more than walk to work and sit all day. The nerves were another story, all thanks to Captain Rogers. 

All blame could not be put on him, though. If you had the balls to just be his friend and admit you admired him, maybe your interactions with him would be more fluid. But working on a regular basis in such close quarters, with someone that held a high place in your heart, it was in your nature to react to your flight response. A literal chicken-shit is how you saw yourself. 

The folders are shuffled into a neat pile, all ready to be worked on tomorrow. The food from lunch is gathered into your backpack and zipped up as you check your phone. The office door locks behind you and you scan the lab, glad that Bruce is no longer in the lab. You jiggle the knob a final time and turn to leave, only to be stopped by a figure in the lab doorway. 

“Hey,” Steve’s smile is apologetic as he greets you. Your feet are glued to the ground before you have to will them to move. Your palms are already beginning to sweat as you move towards the entrance. 

“Hello, Steve,” You nod politely. “Are you here for Dr. Banner? I think he's already left for the day,” your throat constricts with anxiety at being face-to-face with Steve again. You still weren’t over the fact that Tony embarrassed you in front of him at lunch, and you weren’t prepared to see him so soon. 

“I am not, actually. I came to apologize,” He sighs, scratching the back of his head. “Tony was a bit over the line at lunch. I could tell you weren't comfortable and I'm apologizing for the both of us,” he straightens up and nods at you. You're fazed that Steve felt the need to say he was sorry, he did nothing but show up. 

“I…” You clear your throat. “I appreciate the apology, Steve. You didn't do anything wrong, but thank you,” You pause. You realize how curt you come off to Steve and apprehension always got the best of you when in his presence. You wanted to improve your attitude towards him, you really did. Your chest brushes his torso underneath your oversized sweatshirt as you squeeze past him. You hold in a squeal from the contact. Steve catches your hoodie, stilling you. 

“Please wait,” His eyes are pleading. You couldn't accept that he just wanted a moment of your time but you don't jerk away from him. Steve let's go of your sleeve, allowing you to retract your arm. 

“Let’s walk together, we’re both leaving at the same time,” Steve is hopeful in his suggestion. The uncertainty is clear in your face as you hesitate answering him. Your mouth twitches like a fish, urging words to come out. 

“Sure,” You nod. You feel the tips of your ears burn as you walk next to him towards the elevators. 

“Was the rest of your day okay?” He asked, pressing the down button. It bothers him that you have a hard time looking at him but he doesn’t comment on it. 

“It was fine, I was able to stay busy, thankfully,” You reply. Another pause before you think of what to say, ugh, you wish you could just keep a conversation going with him. Your mouth opens, but Steve interjects impatiently. 

“I want to know, have I done something to upset you?” Steve turns toward you, his voice obviously troubled. He wasn’t expecting the deer in headlights look, his question a complete curve ball to you. 

“W-What?” You don’t know how to respond right away to that question. “Steve, you’ve never done anything to upset me,” You tilt your head, apparent confusion on your features. “I… I’m sorry for coming off so strongly, Steve.” Steve did not think he’d ever be the cause of such a melancholy expression. 

“I…” The elevator arrives before you can finish, you and Steve meeting eyes with an attractive redhead. You were familiar with the woman, Natasha Romanoff frequenting the lab to visit her companion. You shoot Steve one last look before stepping onto the elevator, standing to the right of Natasha. Steve nods at his friend as he stands to her left. 

“Why hello, Steve,” Natasha greets the blonde, however it does not pass her by that there was an air of awkwardness between you and him. Her curiosity is piqued as she scans you from behind. Your tense shoulders and avoidance towards Steve was obvious to the spy, years of training making her apt at reading body language. 

“It’s good to see you,” Natasha greets you by name, patting your back. You smiled, she had always been very cordial with you whenever you ran into each other. 

“Yeah, good to see you too, Nat. How’ve you been, you usually stop by on Mondays.” You turn to look directly at her, lowering your chances of looking at Steve. 

“Maybe you just missed me, sweetie,” She winks at you, earning a chuckle. Steve watches the interaction, amazed that you two knew each other. He didn’t think you talked to anyone outside of Bruce or Tony, but it would make sense as to how you knew Natasha. 

“Were you and Steve talking before I showed up?” The corner of her mouth twitches at you. She could have cut the tension between you and Steve with a knife, and if it was actually something important, Natasha didn’t mind stirring the pot to make it happen. “Because don’t let me stop you,” You try to laugh off her comment, shaking your head. 

“Haha, Natasha, very funny,” Steve frowns at her. The elevator reaches the ground floor, the three of you stepping off. 

“See you around, Natasha,” You wave at the redhead as she walks away. Steve stays at your side, waiting to continue your conversation. “Steve,” You pull him to the side into a small pocket in the lobby, standing to the side of the hallway. The feeling of your hand on his arm leaves his skin warm.

“I am, just... how I am, okay? You haven’t done anything, I promise.” You assure him. “I won’t lie, and I don’t mean to be, but I am hard to like if you couldn’t tell,” You roll your eyes, making him chuckle. You felt better being honest with him, but you could be _more_ honest, you had difficulty talking to him because he was the most beautiful human being you had ever met, inside and out; how do you verbalize to someone _that’s_ why you can’t talk to them?

“You haven’t even given me a chance to like you, yet.” Steve gives you a lopsided smile, making your heart flutter. “Besides, Bruce and Tony can’t be your only friends,” He raises his eyebrows at you expectantly. 

“Touche, Captain,” You nod. Your heart may be hammering in your chest, but personal kudos to you for being able to hold a conversation right now. “You’re not so bad I suppose, Steve,” Your mouth turns upward just the slightest at him. You can’t believe you’re joshing around Steve Rogers right now. If your bladder was full, you’d most definitely be pissing yourself right now. 

“Why does my opinion matter so much to you?” You ask. You did not understand why Steve had taken such an interest in you within the last week. It was out of the blue to you, but it was a long time coming for him.

“I know what it’s like to be misunderstood.” He exhales. “I grew up scrawny, sickly, and everyone mistook me as the tiny kid from Brooklyn that was going to stay there because of my condition.” His eyes had a faraway look momentarily, you noticed. “I know there’s more to people than the face they put on. I wanted to see if it was that way with you, since we’ve never been able to talk to each other.” Steve gives you a genuine smile. 

“You’ve been really patient in trying to talk to me.” You point out. “Most people would think I’m just a jerk after running away from them,” You chuckle. You still were not able to talk Steve without your heart beating a hundred miles an hour, but you were willing to make progress since he seemed to want to be your friend. This scenario had been thought out many times, and now that it was actually happening, you were willing to try being friends. 

“Well, I think it would be great if we started over,” Steve held out his hand for you to shake. You take his hand, shaking it fondly. 

“To new beginnings, Steve.” You affirm him. “I suppose I might see you tomorrow, who knows,” You turn away to leave. The idea of starting over with Steve made you feel better, knowing that with how terse you've been with the avenger he was willing to give you a second chance. 

“I suppose you will,” He waves as you walk away. There’s a weight lifted off his shoulders, knowing that he was able to properly communicate with you this time. You seemed like a friendly girl around people you knew, he wanted to be one of those people. Steve shakes his head at his thoughts, why was he someone that wanted your attention? It didn’t make sense, Steve would have to reflect on his feelings. 

You’re baffled that Steve wanted to be your friend. You leave the lobby of the Avengers Tower and head towards the subway, your hand radiating with warmth in your pocket. You sit down in an empty seat and pull out your phone, unaware of the familiar face next to you. 

“So, Rogers, huh?” You almost drop your phone in surprise, looking at the source. 

“Natasha, what the hell?” You look around. “Did you _follow_ me here?” What was she doing, stalking you home?

“Maybe.” She smirks at you. “Anyways, don’t think I couldn’t tell in the elevator, and don’t think I didn’t see you and Steve talking just now,” Natasha points her fingers from her eyes to yours. You facepalm, hanging your head in your hand. 

“Please, please, _please_ don’t say anything to anyone. Not even Bruce knows, Tony thinks he knows but I haven’t confirmed it,” You hate that you’re admitting to this truth, but Natasha was an international spy, there was no use in lying to her. You knew that if Steve ever found out you’d be absolutely dead, 

“I won’t,” The train comes to a stop, the redhead standing up from her seat. “As long as you do something about it, I won’t peep a word,” She saunters of the train, throwing you a knowing look as the doors shut. You were a quiet worker, and it was apparent that you wanted to go unnoticed by many and only had a select few in your circle. What caught Natasha’s eye was your behavior Steve, only a woman that was hiding something would give off the vibe you had given in the elevator. 

You were exhausted from the day. Not only did Tony try to push you onto Steve, but now Natasha was in on it, too. Just great. You could only hope that neither of them were serious in their games to get you to confess to the captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew if I didn't just post this chapter I would edit it forever, so here it is. This chapter did not follow my original draft, but it just felt a bit better to have some resolution with her & Steve, it didn't feel right to me to have her keep turning his niceness down. It didn't make sense unless she wanted to further tarnish his non-existent relationship with him, haha. Who knows, maybe working on more than one story at a time really does help finish the some


	5. even when I'm with my boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Steve are growing close. Others begin to notice.

Over the next few days, you are hyper-aware of the redhead’s presence whenever she is near. Whether it be passing in the tower or whenever visiting Bruce’s side of the lab, the knowing looks she sent you had you on edge. 

You are glad that her’s and Steve’s visits to the lab never coincided. Natasha’s perceptiveness unsettled you, even if she is nothing but cordial whenever she speaks to you. Steve seemed to come around more often, now that he knew you were open to talking to him. Why he decides to go out of his way, you don’t want to know. All hopeful thoughts are locked in an air-tight cage in the back of your head. You simply entertain the captain, remaining friendly to someone that’s only ever shown you kindness. 

Today you paid Bruce the favor of drawing Steve’s blood for him since the senior scientist had a meeting with Tony to tend to. Bruce was presenting his case of why your research deserves to continue funding, knowing that without outside support Tony would still help him with what he needed. 

“I admire Bruce’s integrity to earn his keep, I’ll say that,” You smile, withdrawing the last vial from Steve’s arm. Your fingertips tingle (again), lightly grazing his skin. You purposely stick a hello kitty band-aid on the penetrated area, stifling a giggle. 

“Do you draw blood often? That hurt a lot less than when Bruce does it.” Rolling his sleeve down he grimaces. You squint at him, holding back from snorting.

“Are you serious? Am I hearing the world’s first Avenger cry about  _ needles _ ?” You can’t help but crack up, placing the vials of blood in the designated slots. 

Steve tried to look annoyed, struggling between smiling and frowning. Your laugh was infectious, and the way your eyes twinkled with mirth as you looked at him made his stomach float. “Hey, I am very much still human, I can feel when someone misses my veins.” He shakes his head, standing up. 

You grin. “Yeah, you want some cheese with that whine, captain?” Steve was not prepared for the absolute smartass you could be. 

The weight has been lifted from Steve, now that you’re able to talk to him. Only within the last few weeks did you act as you would rather be shot in the foot than breathe the same air as him. 

You thought you’d always remain the awkward little mouse around him, but seeing Steve enough times and getting past the wall of treating him like a person, rather than some historical hero on a pedestal, well, game on, just like the rest of your colleagues. 

“I worked as a phlebotomist while going through school, and had to pay the bills somehow. I know Bruce has several doctorates after his name, but I have thousands of-” you stick your index finger into the band-aid, making him flinch. “Pokes!” You laugh. 

“Goodness, have you always been this…” His eyes wander, his mind tries to find the right word. Steve is still processing the change in attitude, though it is very much welcomed. 

“Rambunctious? Annoying? C'mon Steve, add some color to your vocabulary, I've heard it all,” you continue to joke. You're waiting for the offense. Most people were not used to your playfulness firsthand, and who could blame him. You were finally allowing yourself to be excited about becoming friends with Steve, you couldn't help but give him a taste of who you really are. 

“I would have never used the word annoying, first of all,” he gives a stern look. “But yes, you are much ‘different’ once the door is opened.” 

“Usually only Tony and Bruce see this side of me, so consider this a treat, Mr. Rogers.” You shrug. 

Steve stands from your workbench, smoothing himself out. “In a good way, may I add.” He smiles. “So, how much do I owe you?” Steve asks, earning a roll of the eyes, knowing very well he didn’t owe you anything. 

“Nothing, it's on the house.” You whisper. “Although, I would not mind Starbucks if you were ever in the neighborhood again.” The way you wink at him makes his hands twitch. Steve  _ never _ would have guessed he signed up for this. Your quiet reluctance to get to know him versus the spirited quips you gave now, he looked forward to the road ahead with you. Letting out a hearty laugh, he turns to leave. 

“I'll think about it,” he waves over his shoulder, exiting the lab. 

You stare after him. Your heart is learning not to beat so hard when he is around. You were proud of how you were slowly conditioning yourself to be normal around him, though, you couldn't help the guilt that began to settle in your stomach, stemming from your crush on the super-soldier. 

\-----

Natasha notices how much Steve has been hanging around you. She observes you in the halls, the lab, the cafeteria, even when you are alone with Tony in his office, she finds a way to know how many breaths you took. 

One day, Natasha decides to take a peek at your file. Nobody other than Bruce knows, her confidant knowing well enough to keep her search a secret operation. She sneaks into the employee filing room, skims through your folder in the hidden filing cabinet, and finds a golden nugget in the mystery that is you. 

Your last name has changed within the last five years with no clear reason in your file. If you were running from someone, wouldn’t you change your whole name? Were you married and nobody knew about it? Natasha's eyebrows narrow as she continues to scan, wondering what else she can find before taking the next step. Finding nothing she sighs, putting your file back.

Steve and Tony waited patiently on Nat, the two men chatting about the mission reports they had to write. “How many times have I asked you not to refer to my shield as a frisbee, Tony?” Steve shoots an accusatory stare at him. 

“Maybe if you weren't twirling so much when you throw it I wouldn't imagine a frisbee,” Tony pouts, meagerly defending himself. The two notice Natasha stroll into the office. She sits next to Steve and across from Tony's desk. “Where were you, missy? Late because of some secret spy stuff?” He winks at her. 

“Always secret spy stuff,” she chuckles lightly. Natasha wasn't going to admit she was digging up dirt on you, that would be bad practice. 

“Anyways, while we're finishing up this report, I do have a question for Stevie boy here.” Tony tries to hide his shit-eating grin. Both Steve and Natasha rolled their eyes, preparing for Tony's stirring of the pot. 

“I see you've taken quite the shine to our scientist,” Tony wiggles his eyebrows. “What made Captain Rogers so interested in a lab mouse, hmm? Is it her winning personality?” Tony probes further, earning a chuckle from Natasha. 

Steve stares at Tony, his jaw ticking. He knows that you and the philanthropist are close, but the light joke somehow rubbed him the wrong way. “It is, actually.” Steve straightens in his chair. “She may be closed off, but she is a very friendly gal once you get to know her, I would try that sometime, Tony.” Steve feels his neck heat up, clearing his throat. He wishes he didn't feel the need to defend you, but once you started opening up to Steve, he wanted to take the privilege of your friendship seriously. 

Natasha stares at Steve in shock, her lips just barely parted as she processes his words. She didn't expect the snap from her comrade, was Steve  _ that _ into you? To have someone like him come to your defense was a huge compliment and a testament to your character. Natasha made a mental note, her interest further piqued by Steve’s quip. 

Tony is taken back, unexpecting his comment to receive such backlash. “You're right, Cap. I could get to know our lovely researcher better.” He agrees. 

After the meeting adjourned between the three, Tony and Natasha hang back in his office. Steve was over the comment made by Tony, however, the two Avengers hung onto his behavior. 

Both observed the odd friendship blooming between their captain and you. From an outsider, it looked normal as if you two were just friends getting to know each other, the only strange thing was how out of the blue it is. You and Steve had nothing in common, you were never on his radar until a few weeks ago it seems, and why all of a sudden he wants to see you all the time? 

Natasha speaks first. “Am I hallucinating, or did Rogers almost eat you alive for joking about her?”

“No, he most  _ definitely  _ has his patriotic panties in a bunch,” Tony sighs. “But hey, now we know for certain who Mr. Steve is all hot and bothered for,” Natasha smacks Tony in the arm. “What! You can’t tell me he doesn't like her.” He pouts. 

“We don’t know that for certain yet. And even if Steve does like her, we're not going to meddle, right, Tony?” Natasha eyes him, unspoken warning in her look. 

He sticks his arms up in surrender. “Don't have to tell me twice, Romanoff.” 

She shoots him a doubtful glance before getting up to leave. Natasha felt she still had some digging to do on her end. Determined to find out more about your past, she sneaks into the filing room once more.

\-----

Sharon wandered the halls, passerbyers already guessing what, or rather  _ who _ , she was looking for. Workers of the towers all knew of her history with Captain America, though nobody could figure out why she wouldn’t leave the poor guy alone. 

She sees a familiar agent leave as she draws near his office, Steve and Natasha bidding each other goodbye. The two wave as his door shuts. Sharon nearly clips Natasha before she knocks on his door. “Agent Romanoff,” Sharon’s smile is stiff as she greets her. 

“Agent Carter.” Natasha nods. “I didn’t think Steve had any appointments this afternoon,” She comments before Sharon can knock. The blonde blinks at her, tilting her head and halting her fist.

“I just thought I’d drop in, I have a few reports to give him.” Sharon’s smile grows more unnatural the longer she forces herself to talk to Natasha. 

“Really? Where are they?” Natasha obviously scans Sharon, no files in hand or papers. 

“USB,” Sharon pats her pocket. Her voice was even but began to swell, impatient to see Steve. 

“Hmm. Interesting.” Natasha sticks her lip out, doubtful. 

“How about you? Are you on your way to any more meetings? The day is almost over.” Sharon asks. Natasha inwardly sighs, wishing she wouldn’t have asked her a question. 

Natasha dislikes making small talk with Sharon. She didn’t hate Sharon, but she sided with Sam when Steve and she were dating; it was a bad idea from the get-go. Natasha did not like though that Sharon would  _ not  _ leave her friend alone as he tried to move on. 

“I am. Meeting with a friend after work,” Natasha turns on her heel, almost stepping away to end the conversation until she catches Sharon’s comment, thinking it was under her breath. 

“The lab rat, I’m sure.” Sharon rolls her eyes, not huffing low enough. Natasha looks over her shoulder, her look deadly as she meets Sharon’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Natasha asks, crossing her arms and slowly striding back towards Sharon. Sharon scoffs, mirroring Natasha’s body language.

“Hmm. I always knew you had amazing hearing, Agent Romanoff.” Sharon gives Natasha a deprecated laugh. Sharon knew that Steve had been hanging around you for quite some time. She wasn’t seeing in you whatever Steve was. She didn’t want him getting too friendly with you, she had to let herself step in again if things were ever going to be mended between her and her beloved. 

“Are you bothered by her, Agent Carter?” Natasha gives her a quick look over, sizing her up.

Sharon swallows, maintaining some composure as she leans into Natasha’s ear. “Steve and I are working things out, I don’t need a lab rat getting in the way.” She whispers.

Her tone is not threatening towards Natasha, but towards  _ you _ . 

Natasha nods understandingly, looking past Sharon and over her own shoulder. Nobody is around, and there are no cameras in this hall, she observes. She launches her forearm against Sharon’s chest, planting her knee into her thigh, pushing her against the wall. Sharon grunts, surprised the redhead was getting physical outside of training or a mission. Natasha’s free hand is fisted near Sharon’s head.

“I could file a report,” Sharon glares, her tone not the least bit menacing. She tried not to shiver as emerald eyes bore into hers, the spy ready to strike at any second.

“Look here, Sharon,” Natasha seethes, voice low. “You and Steve are over. And for her,” She grits her teeth. “You do look at her, and going forward, don’t even breathe the same  _ air  _ as her, you got it?” Natasha hated that Sharon dare threaten a civilian, someone innocent, no less. You had done nothing wrong, all you were was a friend to Steve. It was not a warranted reason for her hostility, and Natasha knew she was making the point  _ very  _ clear, the growing terror in Sharon’s eyes getting Natasha to back off. She steps away, the taller woman’s chest slightly heaving as she backs off. 

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Carter.” Natasha practically snarls, leaving her in the hall by herself. You weren’t close by any means to the spy, but Sharon’s threat woke something in Natasha. 

\-----

You were in your office, feet propped on the desk with your drink in hand. You are impressed that Steve got your favorite Starbucks brew down to the extra matcha and oat milk. He probably asked Bruce, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t think he’d be so eager to get you a drink, but you’d have to thank him later.

His kind presence was growing on you fast, and you weren't sure what to make of it. As much as you wanted to lose yourself in the fantasy that Steve could  _ actually _ be into you, your past wouldn't allow you to revel in such a thought. You stared at the fading tan on your ring finger. The thin line was beginning to blend in with the rest of your finger. Your mind began to spin, memories of your life before this job starting to resurface. 

_ “I can’t believe you got a job with the Avengers!” Jude screams, spinning you around your living room.  _

_ “Babe, come on, it’s not that exciting, it’s just in the lab.” You laugh, ducking your head so you don’t hit the ceiling fan. You had just received your offer letter to your dream job, working for Stark Industries as a lead researcher. How you landed the opportunity to work personally with Bruce Banner, you didn’t want to think about or else you’d pee your pants. _

_ “This calls for sushi, baby girl,” Jude throws you on the couch, continuing to spin in the living room. _

_ “I suppose it is, I will be making some big dollars at this new job,” You wink at him. “Call me sugar mama while we’re at dinner if you want dessert,” You stick your tongue out, earning a pillow to the face. _

_ “You’re so gross, it was going to be my treat,” Jude guffaws, jumping on you and pinning you to the couch.  _

_ “I’m so happy for you, babe.” His eyes swirl with admiration, ocean eyes full of warmth and-  _

A knock on your door brings you out of your trance. You look up, jade eyes meeting yours. “Hey there kiddo,” Natasha leans against your doorframe. You visibly bristle, still wary of the redhead’s presence.

“How can I help you, Ms. Romanoff?” Your voice wavers, shoving your hands in your lab coat. You didn’t want to give her a reason to think you were staring at your fingers. 

“Are you busy Saturday?” She sits in the chair parallel to your desk, noticing you slightly roll your chair. Naturally backing away from her, Natasha didn’t blame you for being wary of her, especially since she was scoping you out. But you didn’t need to know that. 

“Oh.” You raise a brow at her. “Why, did you need help with something?” Her question was a pleasant surprise to you.

She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re cute,” The corner of her mouth curls slightly, showing a mischievous dimple. “There’s a get together on Saturday and I want you to come. But I want to go shopping beforehand.” 

“Hmm.” You ponder out loud. You know deep down if it wasn’t Natasha, it would have been Tony that asks you to go. You wonder if Steve would have invited you. “You’re in luck. “Shopping with  _ the  _ Natasha Romanoff” was added to my bucket list five minutes ago.” You laugh nervously at your own joke. It sounded lame, now that it left your mouth, but she chuckles nonetheless.

Natasha finds it interesting that you’re more verbal with her than before. Perhaps Steve’s friendship was getting you to loosen up. “Great. I’ll pick you up at your place, then.” Natasha holds out her hand expectantly. You pick up what she’s putting down, handing her your phone. 

You weren’t sure how to feel about spending a day with the Avenger, but your natural instinct was to roll over and let it happen, considering there truly was nothing off about her. If she was wanting to get a feel of you, you would understand. You knew her and Steve were close, it made sense she’d want to protect her friend. You were probably paranoid, but it wouldn’t hurt if she wanted to be your friend. Maybe she saw how you were warming up to Steve and wanted to be part of that. 

“Alright. I’ll see you later, pumpkin.” The nickname causes you to blush as she leaves. You’ve never been called that before, but the words of endearment are something that you’ve missed. 

Exiting your office, Natasha brushes shoulders with Tony. The two give each other a knowing smile, the CEO stepping into your office. 

“What’s up, buttercup,” He nods at you. “There’s a thing this weekend, you’ll probably say no-” His voice is already defeated, preparing to accept your answer until you interrupt him. 

“And I will politely decline, not to the shindig, but to you, Tony.” You tilt your head at him, leaning back in your chair. “Natasha already asked me to be her plus one.” You raise your cup to him. 

“Oh. I didn’t know you and Nat were buddies.” Tony states. He knew what Natasha was up to by inviting you, but he had to play it cool. 

“We’re not, but maybe we will be. It wouldn’t shock me that people are starting to pay attention to me because of Steve, wouldn’t you agree?” You laugh bitterly. You didn’t want to doubt Natasha’s sincerity in inviting you out, but you only knew of her. You wish you would have kept the thought to yourself.

Tony’s mouth drops, surprised at your comment. “I don’t think that’s why she wants to hang out with you, honey.” He crosses his arms. 

Shrugging, you take another sip of your drink. You weren’t certain of Natasha’s intentions, but you were willing to give her a chance. “We’ll see what happens. Can only hope for the best, but hey! I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Spinning your back to Tony, he takes the hint, sighing.

Tony walked out of the lab, glad that you’re making friends with his teammates. He was concerned with them scaring you off, if things became too intense for you. He wondered to himself if exposing your feelings for Steve is worth losing his best scientist. Was nudging you in the direction of someone, someone like Steve that  _ could  _ be good for you, the right move?

Finally getting home, you unlock the door to your apartment, setting your belongings on the counter. You walk past the kitchen and living room, on your way to the bathroom. You were ready to shower after a long day of looking over papers and drawing blood. You smile as you walk towards the mid-table in the hall, looking at the black-framed photo of you and your beloved brunette. 

“Hey, Jude. I’m home.” You smile softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite drink at Starbucks is a Matcha Green Tea Latte with Oatmilk and extra Matcha :)))
> 
> I'd say this chapter followed my outline pretty well. I did have to stomach the interaction between Natasha and Sharon, I'd like to get better at writing hostility between characters. 
> 
> Can't wait to go shopping with the girls!


	6. from now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and you go out for a girls' day before the party tonight.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, contemplating why you agreed to a girls’ day. You weren't one to hang out with another woman, for starters, and barely knowing the spy, along with your previous track record of making friends, normally you would have said no right away. One more once over of your outfit, you wait for Natasha to arrive. 

Becoming friends with Steve was changing you and everyone’s perception of you. You could feel that his advances were slowly opening you again to feel, to let go with others, you even noticed your relationships with Tony and Bruce improved tremendously due to the captain’s friendly gestures, his welcomings allowing you to feel accepted. You knew you were smiling more and willing to let yourself feel, the warmth and sincerity exuberated by Steve was slowly adding color to your world again. 

When Jude passed away, you continued your life but living hasn’t been the same. Who would have guessed a single moment could take the rest of his life away, and that day, the rest of yours. For a long time, you weren’t sure if you were ready again, whether it be a friend or lover. He was chipping away at your walls and you couldn’t process what to make of it. 

The doorbell rings. You assume it’s Natasha and grab your bag, walking from your room through the apartment. Exhaling one last time, you open the door, smiling at the redhead. “You’re punctual,” You comment, closing the door behind you and turning to lock it. 

“What can I say, I’m eager.” Natasha smiles. Wearing tight black jeans, ankle boots, and a maroon tank top under a dark leather jacket, she was pretty casual for a Saturday. Her eyes trailed from your feet up to your back, taking in your worn-out sandals all the way to your aged backpack. A person of practicality, she gathered; her interest lied in spending time with you and seeing what about you caught her dearest friend’s attention. 

“Eager as a beaver,” You mutter, earning a sided grin from the redhead. Leading her through the hall and down the stairs, you’re still somewhat nervous to be around Natasha. She was kind enough to invite you for a day out and to the party tonight, and you went out on a limb giving her your real address, but your gut told you she _had_ to have had an aim. She was probably testing or feeling you out because Steve has taken an interest in being your friend. 

You head out through the main entrance of your apartment and towards the subway system.

\-----

“You should try this one,” Natasha hands you a dress. Your eyebrows shoot up, surprised that Natasha was able to find a piece you would like.

“This one is quite nice,” You take the hanger from her, scanning the bodice up and down. “It doesn’t exactly say ‘Take me to your villa, Eduardo,’ but it’s more along the lines of, ‘You can look, but you can’t touch.’” Your commentary makes Natasha laugh.

She watches as you make your way to the dressing room of the boutique. She did not expect you to be a talker. Natasha picked an upscale dress shop in upper Manhattan, one that had every kind of dress you could think of. She also knew that it was far away enough from the Tower, there wouldn’t be anyone you both know to interrupt. 

Natasha was still very curious as to why you had a different last name, and even though today was meant for friends, she was going to do her own digging. She didn’t think you were going to hurt Steve, but if there were any secrets you were keeping she was going to find them before her friend could fall any further for you. 

“Natasha,” You call with your tongue in a knot, unused to calling the spy by her first name. She comes over, sitting on the ottoman that dons in the middle of the fitting room. 

You pull the stall door open, your hands fidgeting with the skirt of the dress. “I love this color, but does it look alright on me?” You spin halfway, examining your rear over your shoulder. Natasha nods, her look appraising. 

“I think it looks great on you,” She smiles, arms and legs crossed. A retail associate offers Natasha a glass of water, and she accepts with a thank you. 

It was a long-sleeved off-shoulder dress, the very front had a small v-cut above your sternum, and the material was a floral lace on top of a chiffon material. The skirt hugged your body wonderfully, accentuating your figure and ending right above your knees. You’re pleased that Natasha happened to pick this out in your favorite color, as well. 

You look up and down the mirror, approvingly, puckering your lips at your reflection. “Wow, I could steal someone’s daddy in this dress.” You mutter, loud enough for Natasha to catch.

Natasha chokes on her water. “Oh my God,” She coughs, trying to keep from laughing to get the water out. You weren’t just a talker, no wonder you and Tony got along so well. 

You rush over and pat her on the back, trying to express your concern as you hold in a laugh. “I am _so_ sorry,” You couldn’t believe your stupid mouth made a world-class assassin choke on a glass of water. 

“I’m fine,” she rasps, taking in a few deep breaths. 

“I know you were just choking, but I take that as you agree with my statement?” You smile at her hopefully. 

She chuckles, turning to face you. “Yes, I think the dress suits you very well.” She nods. “I also think I know a certain someone that would think the same thing,” She smirks. Your eyes widen just the slightest, your cheeks a dusty rose from the assumption. 

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about- Ahh, forget it.” Your stutter has you give up on trying to hide from her. You cover your face with your hands, sighing heavily as your elbows rest on your knees. 

“Sorry that you do, honey.” Natasha rests her hand on your shoulder. She wasn’t one to easily show sympathy, but with knowing how much Steve cared about you and Sharon’s animosity, Natasha felt that she had a right to watch out for you. She knew you were nice, and you were always a good lab partner to Bruce - Natasha just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to hurt her family. 

“I do want to ask you a question.” Her question makes your head perk up. “Why did your last name change?” Natasha’s eyes narrow just the slightest; her stare was not to peer into your soul, but she was genuinely curious as to why. 

The color drains from your face. Nobody was supposed to know about your past. Your file was kept confidential, and the part with your maiden name included wasn’t supposed to be accessible to anyone. You swallow, unsure of how to answer her. Your mouth is suddenly dry, part of you wants to bolt and leave the country. The other part of you isn’t surprised that someone had finally found out, you should have expected the spy to find the skeletons in your closet. 

“Not a lot of people outside of my family and some close friends know. Why does it matter?” Your question is your last defense, your heart hammers in your chest as you brace for impact.

“Steve is my leader, my best friend, and above all: he is someone I consider one of my own. Of course, I’m going to inspect anyone that comes his way or anyone he gets involved with.” She states. “I don’t want anything to be a surprise to him.”

“Well,” You swallow. It’s not confidence that fills your chest and urges you to tell Natasha, more of a lump of guilt for omitting such information to everyone. “Not many people know that I was married.” Your voice trembles. Your body shivers, for the first time in a while you were unused to sharing what happened. You weren’t sure if you were ready to tell the world, but the first step with someone that’s willing to listen is helpful. 

“I’m like you, without the black part,” Your laugh is sad as you look at Natasha. She blinks, and you see the light bulb go off in her head.

Her jaw ticks, forehead furrowing not to glare at you but angry with the realization that she completely misjudged you. She feels foolish for having assumed too much about you. “I… I’m so sorry for your loss,” Her hands are clenched in her lap. She wonders how you’ve been able to carry on this whole time, nobody knows that you were married once. 

“I’ve come to terms with it, a lot better off than when I was first coping.” You cross your legs, your hands supporting you as you lean back on the ottoman. You recount to Natasha how many different antidepressants you had tried in that first year, and none of them took the pain away. No amount of withdrawal from your friends and family and no amount of self-pity was going to bring Jude back.

“There was nothing I could find to fill the hole in my heart.” You look up towards the ceiling, allowing the bright dressing room light to sear your eyes for a moment. “So I did what any normal person does when they deal with stuff - bottle it and work.” You laugh sardonically. “Now you know why my solace has been in being to myself and not getting too close to people,” You look at her.

You feel a small weight being lifted from your heart, opening up to Natasha. She may not have been your closest Avenger friend, but the fact that she was willing to listen and lay her ego down for what she thought she knew, that was what you needed. 

“I totally understand how my file would have made anyone wonder what I’ve been up to the past few years.” You chuckle. 

Natasha’s mouth flutters slightly, like a fish groping for water. She still isn’t sure what to say, other than how sorry she was for misleading herself. 

You pat her shoulder. “Hey. It’s all good, Natasha. I’m not upset or anything. You care about _everyone_ on your team, I would actually be super lucky to have a friend like you,” You grin.

The redhead never cries. She has never been brought to tears by death, by failure, or by losing in battle; but opening your heart to her, and seeing how far you’ve come, Natasha’s eyes are glassy as she looks at you. She’s never had anyone in her life outside of the Avengers that genuinely appreciated her character. Could you be a first girlfriend to the Black Widow?

“I think this is the dress, don’t you?” You nudge her with your elbow, snapping her out of herself. 

Natasha sniffs, looking away for a moment. You grin. Your unspoken question has been answered. You were going to let each other in, little by little. You open up to her and Natasha would slowly let her walls down. Just a little bit was enough for you. 

“Give Steve a chance,” Natasha tells you. “I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.”

“I’ll think about it,” You tease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over the past few months, I had lost a little bit of taste for my Marvel fics, though I slowly feel it coming back. Thank you all for your patience!


End file.
